FACING HURT AND REJECTION FACING HURT AND REJECTION
JESUS never promised that the Christian life would be easy. In fact he warned there would be a cross to bear, that is, peculiar sufferings coming upon us simply because of our service for him, and because we seek to be faithful to him. Jesus said we must take up our cross and follow him.
We are fortunate in England at this time that we do not have to suffer persecution as people in some countries have to, although there is always persecution of some kind. Jesus warned us of this when he said that the world would hate us as it hated him.
The suffering which I wish to particularly address now is the hurt and rejection we often face within the fellowship of the church, from other Christians and members of the congregation, when we are seeking to serve and help and work hard for Christ.
The sort of thing I mean is people failing to appreciate what we are doing in the church, although we give much time and energy unstintingly. Then there are people taking us and what we do for granted, without sometimes any word of thanks or encouragement. Also the way we are left on our own without support or help. People do not seem to see the work we do as important or part of the overall work of the church; nor even care enough to pray for it or ask after it. We ask for help and no one seems to be able to spare the time or have any interest. Then there is the vision or burden we have, but others treat our concern with rejection, or if we offer some service it is rejected.
Our hurt is real and often we complain. Our anger bubbles up inside. We are tempted to give up. We have bitter thoughts which effect relationships, create divisions, and corrode our own spiritual lives.
Sometimes we share our complaints with others in the fellowship, gain their sympathy and support, and create a pressure group, which then is the source of division, bad feeling and discontent within the church.
There is a passage in Peter's first letter which goes right to the heart of this problem, and shows us how we should deal with it. The passage is 1 Peter 2:19 - 25.
The Apostle first says it is commendable or praiseworthy before God if we bear these hurts and rejection without complaint and with endurance (v.20).
He then says that our Christian calling to the service of Christ is a calling that will bring suffering, and that we are called to accept this suffering willingly (v.21).
He goes on to describe how Christ gave us his example in that without complaint, and willingly in love, he suffered insults, threats, abuse, and death, even though he was sinless and infinitely loving. Peter describes how Jesus suffered willingly in order to bear our sins in his body on the cross, so that we might be healed (v.21-24). If Jesus suffered all this for us without complaint, should we not be willing to suffer for the sake of others without complaint, so we may spread a little good around, and share the Gospel of the forgiveness of sins. How much more unworthy we are of Jesus' self-sacrificing love, than others are of our self-sacrifice.
But the thing which particularly is helpful are two phrases. One in v.19 "Because he is conscious of God" (NIV) or "for conscience towards God" (AV). The other at end of v.23 "instead Jesus entrusted himself to him who judges justly". We are delivered from a wrong reaction to these hurts and rejection, if we consider what Peter is saying in these sentences.
Firstly, we are not serving the church first and foremost, nor should we be seeking recognition from the church. Rather we are serving the Lord. We are doing it for the Lord. We aim to please him. It does not matter whether we are recognized by the fellowship. Recognition or reward should never enter our head. The motivation should be serving the Lord for love for him. It is for conscience toward God. It is because it is the Lord's work and we do it for him. We must be ready to let all our service be forgotten; to do everything without any parade of our service. God who sees in secret will, if it pleases him and in his good time, reward us openly. But we must be content to do it for God without recognition or help from others.
Why should we look for thanks, and gratitude from the fellowship. We are doing it for the Lord. If the Lord wishes it he will move the fellowship to thank us. To have the Lord in view at all times, saves us from hurt pride and self righteous complaint.
Secondly, as Jesus committed and entrusted himself to God who judges justly, we must put our hurt and rejection in his trust, and leave all to him. If people do treat us unjustly, leave the matter with the Lord. Let him deal with it. Even if we are rejected, all that matters is that the Lord does not reject us. If we feel our need or insight are ignored, we must leave the matter to him, and patiently wait for him to bring justice, and in his good time take up our cause. If the church seems to be forever failing to understand our need and vision, we must entrust the matter to the Lord, believing that he knows best, both what we really need, and the best time for things to be done.
If we are getting no help and little support, we can, like Jesus, entrust our cause and need to the Lord.
By acting and reacting in this way, we are acting in the best way. We should not be looking for human recognition and thanks. If we receive it, all well and good, and the encouragement it gives is a joy; but these are not what we should be looking for or expecting when we serve the Lord. We do things as unto God. We seek only to please him. If things are hard, we trust our cause to him.
To act as Peter describes saves us, and the fellowship to which we belong, much trouble and pain. We also will have an unfailing antidote to this sort of hurt and rejection.