HOW did Jesus react to this position he found in his day concerning marriage and divorce? Jeses’ teaching will seem very harsh to us today maybe, but unless we face his teaching there will be no possibility of getting back to the mind of God in these things. In this we can see that it is only in Christ and in the new life we are given through faith in him, that we can possibly begin to think and act rightly.

Verse 32 of Matthew 5 is very stark and uncompromising. Jesus says that there is no ground for divorce except for marital unfaithfulness. This includes adultery and fornication. Jesus goes on to say that divorce for any other reason makes the divorced person to commit adultery, and that anyone who marries the divorced person also commits adultery.

Let us notice first of all that Jesus does say divorce is permitted in the case of marital unfaithfulness, and we can deduce from this that if divorce does take place for this reason, remarriage of the innocent party is permitted. It also can be deduced that such remarriage may receive the blessing of God, and so be conducted in church.

On the other hand we need to notice that Jesus does not command divorce in such circumstance, but only says it is permitted. If a person whose partner in marriage has been unfaithful wants to forgive and remain married, and continue with the marriage, and rebuild love, this is right.

How are we to understand this teaching, and what is the understanding behind it? For this we must consult what Jesus says in Matthew 19.

In answer to the question by the Pharisees concerning whether it was permitted to divorce a person for any reason, Jesus goes back to creation and calls us to consider God’s original purpose in marriage. This is a big subject and rewards long and careful thought. We can only touch on it here.

Jesus tells us that God created the sexes and made them different but complimentary. God meant a man and woman to live together, because in some unique way in the purpose of creation this brings completion to both in the experience of life. Further it was God’s creative purpose, says Jesus, that marriage should take place, and it is right for a man and a woman to leave their parents, and be joined in marriage, and this way become one flesh. This is a big subject and quite beyond my expertise to expound. I would simply say that this oneness seems to be expressed in sexual union but is more than this. It is rather a union of two people in a loving relationship where each lives in love for the other and seeks the well-being and happiness of the other, and in this way the experience of life and the joy of life is increased for both and fulfilled for both.

Jesus then goes on to say that this union between man and woman in marriage is ordered by God, and to break it is to part what God has united. This presents a very solemn and serious, though beautiful, aspect to marriage. In the light of this Jesus teaches that the permission to divorce, and the giving of a certificate of divorce, was only to regulate the disorder and sinfulness of the way society disregards the law of God, and to curb this sinfulness in humanity, and to impress upon people the seriousness of marriage. Jesus tells the Pharisees that the permission for divorce given by Moses was because of the hardness of heart of human beings, and to curb this sinfulness.

The principle of ‘one flesh’ lies at the root of all this teaching of Jesus. When marital unfaithfulness takes place it breaks this one flesh between two people. This is why marital unfaithfulness is so serious, and so harmful. Marital unfaithfulness is a disturbing and rending of the wonderful purpose of God in life which is bound up in God’s creative purpose for the greatest happiness and fulfilment which human life can bring. People feel that divorce and marital unfaithfulness does not matter very much, and people can pursue their own happiness, and that this is better happiness. Jesus on the other hand points out that this is a fallacy born out of human lust and selfishness. Greater happiness is not in the end found. It is not surprising that often when divorce and remarriage takes place in this careless way, it becomes a prelude to further divorce and remarriage.

However divorce when marital unfaithfulness has taken place is permitted, but not commanded. Jesus seems to teach that when such divorce takes place it breaks permanently this ‘one flesh’ principle in the same way as does the death of one partner, and so marriage to another person is permitted, and permitted to be blessed by God in a church ceremony.

The difficult thing about all this teaching for me is how it can be applied in the conditions which exist in our society today. I have to confess that I have not been able to apply this teaching rigorously when I have been ministering to people confronted with marriage break up. Each situation I have found to be different, and the pain and suffering in the break up between two people very great. I have always sought to encourage couples to be reconciled, and to forgive, and so on, but I find I can’t be judgemental and condemning when in the end break up takes place. Then there is the problem of physical violence in marriage, and mental torture also. Mental abuse to my mind is just as painful and hard to bear as any physical abuse. I have had to confess that I have supported a person in divorce in such circumstances, but I don’t claim any moral high ground about this.